Whew!! This weekend was H—E—double hockey sticks for me. First off, it is that dreaded time of the month, which has consisted of some pill-popping (Excedrin that is), for the pain; moping and whining, for the pain; and plenty of high heating pad usage, for the pain. I finally took the time to research whether or not the heat from the pad was frying my precious ovaries. Lucky for me, and everyone else around, it’s recommended.
With the onslaught of debilitating uterus contractions aka CRAMPS!!!, I’ve been tortured with lower back pain, a migraine or two or seven, some bloating, weight gain, a pimple here and there, and a hormonal imbalance where at any given moment, without warning, I’m liable to snap at an innocent victim or break down and cry about everything or nothing at all…it depends. I mean, it’s a reoccurring nightmare, every single month.
And ladies, I’m so ashamed to admit this—but I have to, so I can sleep at night—I’ve had no control over my food and dessert intake. I’ve indulged in things that really should be treats every now and then…I actually smashed a whole pound of See’s milk chocolate caramel pecan chews, almonds & walnuts, by myself, within a 24 hour period. Unbelievable, right?! I know!!!!
Well, I’m sure a lot of you ladies can attest to the torture AND our ability to fight through it when duty calls. In spite of it all, I still wear an “S” on my chest that stands for SUPER mom / stand-in dad / home school teacher / chef extraordinaire / unpaid live-in maid / personal shopper / momager / acting coach / and chauffeur, all wrapped into one me.
And aside from the above, there are always tons of emails to read and respond to, phone calls and text messages to return (if you haven’t heard from me, I’m still working on that), and auditions to prepare for and go to and writing to do on my end, hence the author career I’m pursuing. So basically, it’s a lot of hard work and there’s rarely a set schedule. Things can change with the wind, and that is what makes the biggest difference between now and when I juggled my mommy duties around my 9 to 5. My life is so unstructured.
And I do it allll by myself. There are times when I wish I had a hubby to relieve me of some of my responsibilities, to support me and encourage me, but there are other times, when I reeeally appreciate not having the extra work that comes with a relationship; caring for your man, finding the necessary time for him, and stroking his ego. And there’s always some drama involved, because no one’s relationship is perfect. I definitely don’t have time for that.
Obviously, I don’t want to be single forever, but what are the odds of me snagging a really good man, that doesn’t expect any of the above from me now or…uh…let’s say….three or five years from now, when I think I’m really ready to settle into that life with someone?
And besides, I’ve had to face the sad music, men my age are looking for young legal tenderoni’s, fresh out of high school, which means men that are interested in me are old enough to be my darn dad…ugh!!!! Ab—so—lutely NOT!
Trust me ladies, I know. I’ve had several approach me on different occasions. One was a realtor I met walking through my neighborhood just recently. And I also met a few others on different sets, one of which rocked a full head of salt and pepper hair and a fanny pack. Who does that?!
I’ve seriously considered whether or not I would be interested if I knew these men had that Steven Spielberg or George Lucas money, and I came to the conclusion that I don’t think money would ever be enough for me. I need real love. But please note: Money would not hurt.
We’ve all heard it or read about it or even seen on television that there are a lot of wealthy people out there that are miserable. We’ve learned at some point that money buys things and people, but doesn’t guarantee happiness, only true love between two people that are willing to fight for it, does. And that’s what I want (when I’m ready), that Ryan Gosling Rachel McAdams Notebook type love with Ryan Gosling by my side of course.
So ladies, if you only had one choice to a) a man with money that you didn’t love or b) a man with little to no money that you did love, honestly, which would you choose?
See you soon! Until then…