This day and prayer is dedicated to every last one of the women out there, especially my SiNgLe MoMmIeS, who have done everything in their power to take care of their children by living godly; leading admirably; loving unconditionally; sacrificing selflessly; protecting relentlessly; providing resourcefully; listening intently, advising knowledgeably; chastening uncompromisingly…mothering phenomenally! Happy Mother’s Day!
today we pray for mothers–
our own mothers, and mothers everywhere,
who have made such a major contribution
to the good qualities we have,
sometimes through genetics,
more often through great effort and patient instruction,
and who have done their best
to gently polish away our rough edges.
Lord, please bless our mothers
for the endless hours of time they spent
and the boundless energy they invested in us.
Bless our mothers for their sacrifices on our behalf
as they often gave up or deferred their own dreams
so that we could have ours.
Bless our mothers for always being there for us,
for being the person we know we can turn to
when we need comfort, encouragement, or just a hug.
Bless our mothers for making a home for us
where we could feel safe, where we felt we belonged.
Most of all, Lord,
bless our mothers for their unconditional love,
for loving us no matter what,
and for frequently showing love
in ways that make us feel valued and cherished.
Lord, please bless our mothers mightily.
Strengthen them, soothe them,
wrap them in Your infinite love
and shower them with blessings
too numerous to count, too magnificent to describe.
We love them, admire them, respect them,
and we wish that You would give them back
many times the good they gave to us.
In Jesus’ name we pray; Amen.
Hey ladies!!! So glad you stopped by. I want to apologize, I missed last Friday’s post (not on purpose of course), because some things came up unexpectedly. But I’m sure you know that comes with the SiNgLe MoMmY territory. It’s certainly the irony (if you will), behind the FiLeS…even though I take this new blogging gig seriously, I post as often as a woman wearing a lot of hats, carrying a full plate in one hand and juggling a number of responsibilities in the other, would. Ahhh my life…you gotta’ see the irony in that.
I tweeted earlier yesterday morning that I had left my computer which meant Monday’s post would be delayed. I sat on set with TJ for approximately eight hours, with no way to work on the blog or Continue reading It Happens So, Now What?
Hey SMF fam!! Happy May Day to you all!! I can never say how much I really appreciate your support enough! Well as you may have noticed, I made an impromptu decision to extend my vacay when I got back from “VeGaS BaBy!” And boy, was it a good decision.
I didn’t abstain from work so much, but I used the time to sort things out in my head. I was all over the place, stretched, and I found myself feeling quite overwhelmed with all of my “FiRsT StEpS” duties, which wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, I find myself at that place from time to time.
But the real problem was my struggle to write, considering it has come to me so effortlessly in the past. I was busy working on the SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS, but I had totally abandoned the second draft of my novel ‘A Journey Like No Other.’ So I spent some of my downtime, working on it.
So it’s all good now. And I’m happy to say, I realigned my life, refocused my energy, put things in perspective, and I’m back and better than ever!
So anyway, I promised I would tell you all about my trip to Vegas with my homegirls *rubs hands together and squeals* And let me just say Oh—My! It was THEE BEST BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION/VEGAS VACAY I had ever been apart of and I’ve got some pics to prove it. Check them out.
This was thee best group of ladies to spend the weekend with! We had sooo much fun! It was ridiculous!!
We had thee best road trip ever in this comfy Mercedes Sprinter Continue reading Vegas Baby…Only Thee Best Will Do!
SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS – “VeGaS BaBy!”
I just want to make sure you’ve taken my advice and made some “I’m DoInG Me” plans wherever you are in the world. I did! In fact, several of my girlfriends are on our way to VEGAS to celebrate one of their birthdays!!! I’m waiting on the Mercedes Sprinter van as I type. I’m so excited, I don’t know what to do with myself!!!
I certainly need this vacay and the ridiculous fun that will ensue. I’m not sure exactly what’s going to go down, I know there will be some shopping, sunbathing pool side, swimming, experiencing a lil’ of the nightlife, and I will definitely drop a few bills on a table or maybe some coins in a slot machine or two (don’t judge me lol).
I’ve made a promise to refrain from working so that I’ll come back refreshed on Monday. I’ll take plenty of pics to share with you all.
Have a great weekend and I’ll see you on Monday! Until then…
Hey ladies and gentlemen!! If you haven’t already, please check out some of the other SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS posts in your spare time. And just so you know, I’m still trying to figure this blogging thing out, so please excuse the construction (i.e. schedule & post changes). I just need to make sure that I’m able to find a groove and stick with. I appreciate any or all of your support during this time!
In other news, looks like I’m gearing up for a new post entitled “So YoU WaNt To Be A MoMaGeR” real soon! I’m all about the needs of my readers and a lot of mommies and daddies have reached out to me by way of Facebook asking for info and help on how to get their kid started in the entertainment biz.
I want to help each and every one of you, really I do, but Continue reading I’m Doing Me: Taking My Own Advice
There’s always sooo much on my plate as a SiNgLe MoMmY! Remember I told you in “FiRsT StEpS” that I’m a full-time SUPER-mom, which is the ultimate job of the universe. I find myself cooking, cleaning, wiping noses and tears, teaching responsibility, encouraging creativity and learning, cultivating gifts, discouraging bad behavior, chastening, and loving unconditionally, day in and day out.
Parenting is one of thee most demanding responsibilities for a mother and a father, but when a mother finds herself being a stand-in dad too, the load is much heavier. And let me just say that my hat is off to any woman that is raising more than one child alone…I can only imagine what your days are like.
Sadly, SiNgLe MoMmIeS are not Appreciated & Respected as we should be at times, by our children, in our homes or in society, for Continue reading Where’s My A-P-P-R-E-C-I-A-T-I-O-N & R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
Hey ladies and gentlemen!!! I hope you’re still enjoying SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS! I appreciate your support whether you’re visiting for the first time or have been supporting since the beginning with “FiRsT StEpS.”
I realized that I had to give myself a quick mental break from all this talk about “LoVe UnCoMpLiCaTeD” and focus on something more significant than my life in all its “SiNgLeNeSs.” At such a vulnerable state (i.e. thee time of the month), it was starting to wear me down hence the post “CaTcH 22.”
What could be more notable than my emotional tug-o-war with my desire to be single….wait no, married…uh…maybe single again? MoMmYhOoD! Yes, I LOVE being TJ’s mom! It’s a responsibility I do Continue reading MommyHood: We Do What We Have To
I know we say that we’re motivated by our “haters.” My life is a personal testament to all those people (family & friends & enemies, of course) that told me I couldn’t/shouldn’t do something and why they wouldn’t, BUT I did it big anyway!
However, I’m at a point in my life where I realize I can’t pay attention to “hate,” negative criticism,“ or “projected insecurities,” because I don’t care how motivated, focused, or determined a person may be…those things have the ability to distract, discourage and eat away at you if you constantly subject yourself to it. Trust me I know from personal experience.
So, when I say I’m not paying attention, that means I’m not friending you (in life, on Facebook or twitter), I’m not hanging with you (birds of a feather flock together), I’m not answering my phone, text messages or bbm’s. I made a decision before 2012 rolled in, that I was not allowing “haters” any room in my life. They are harmful to my emotional and mental well-being and self-destructive.
TRUTH: The power of life and death lies in our mouths. Certain people have the power to push you forward or hold you back or even detour you, if you allow them. Key word here is “allow.” From now on, “haters” will not get any of my energy or attention. However, they will definitely get my prayers! The people that LOVE, APPRECIATE, SUPPORT, SEE THE GOOD in what I do, and use it to better themselves or others will get the same reciprocated and all of my attention!
I’d much rather be propelled into my promising future through positivity (which will take me so much further and higher) than be driven by negativity, trying to prove something to my “haters;” the people that could care less if I falter or fail. I’m so done with that! ~Katrina B. xoxo
As promised, here’s part 2 of the SiNgLeNeSs post. Please check out: SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS – “SiNgLeNeSs” Pt. 1, if you haven’t already. The rest of you please follow me.
So, I had a pretty interesting weekend. Despite the high temps, clear skies and sun (that people took full advantage of), I laid around disorientated, drinking tea, somewhat comforted, yet slightly disturbed by a heating pad, and too lazy to Google whether or not having it on high could possibly fry my ovaries … sounds crazy right? I know. I get that way sometimes and it’s not my fault—as I have tried to explain to men—I was at the mercy of Mother Nature who showed up this month with a vengeance. She had her foot in my lower back it seemed and she made me miserable and irritated and found new ways to torture me…sort of the same way a mother-in-law does. I know, I know, that’s not nice, but it’s the truth, for many.
Remember early on in the SiNgLeNeSs post when I mentioned that I realized “I had become content with being–a single woman?” I had, but it wasn’t an easy process on any level, as I’m sure some of you can attest or argue. But for me, it was more so having to take care of my son as a single mom–by default, not necessarily choice—and failing at the thing that represented a defining moment in my life. The being alone part hurt deeply at times, considering that I married with the intention of forever.
So trust me, I understand what being alone feels like. I’ve lived it, walked it out, and slept that way for over four years (and still counting). I’m not implying that being single is ideal for everyone. It isn’t for me. Let me tell you, I wanted to be in love, someone’s wife, and an angel’s mother–more than anything in the world–as far back as I can remember (elementary school to be exact). It was then, that I fell in love with the first boy of my dreams…I’ll call him N.B. for short. In my mind, we were destined to be married, have 2.5 children, live in a house with a white picket fence, and a little dog, and live happily ever after.
I didn’t marry my first love aka my middle school and high school boyfriend surprisingly, but a couple of boyfriend’s, break-ups, and heartaches later, I did fall in love with another young man who would become my friend, first husband, the father of my child, enemy, ex, and friend again, all within a six year period.
Granted after divorce I really wasn’t pressed to be in a relationship. Honestly, I wasn’t up for trusting another man with my heart. I was broken, a little bitter, disgusted with men…and tired of the hurt that they all seemed to have caused at some point in my life. Then, above all, I had my son to care for and a lot to think about; I was real grown with someone depending solely on me. And I knew my decisions—good or bad—would ultimately affect his life.
I had no plans of casually dating OR sexing with anyone–which seemed to be most men’s objective (let me just say, I am not man-bashing, so men, if the shoe doesn’t fit, it’s not yours). I refused to deal with another man’s lies, infidelity, immaturity, irresponsibility, or baby mama drama at the expense of my own deserved happiness. And just so you know, I dealt with four out of the five (of the above) with a divorced man I had met after mine was finalized. We weren’t even in a relationship and he was still clowning, so I was good with all of that. I had decided that I would not allow anyone else to hurt me. I was guarding my heart, which I realized was just the first phase of singleness for me. There was obviously a lot of healing that needed to take place, baggage I had to start unloading, and responsibility I had to take for my part in my failed marriage before I would ever be ready for another relationship.
As time went on, singleness would taunt me. I could barely watch love stories (my favorite genre), or watch a couple’s PDA, or enjoy a married couple’s company, without yearning for love. Loneliness was robbing me of my happiness and peace yet again, just as my failing marriage had, and I could not allow myself to experience that all over again.
I refused to put on a front and be miserable married, celebrating anniversary after anniversary, just to say I was married–which is why I chose divorce–and I was certain that I wouldn’t be that way, single either. So I fought for what belonged to me. I prayed. I cried. I prayed some more. Some battles I lost to broken-heartedness, disbelief, and depression. Some battles…I won…because I had to…for my son and my sanity. And needless to say, I would not have made it through without my own personal relationship with God—not a man.
Eventually, my wounds healed, and some scars faded, and my load got a little lighter. When I thought about it, I wasn’t happy in the end being married. Neither was I happy after it was all said and done, being single. And, it wasn’t just a matter of being with the right or wrong person, it was a matter of me; not him or them, but me finding my own happiness and my own peace and pursuing it. It was then, that I realized two things. 1) Happiness was not guaranteed based on my marital status and 2) I was the one in control of it. I’m throwing in number three for free; 3) Either I was going to be happy or not, whether I was single or not. Point. Blank. Period. It was my choice and my decision to embrace self-fulfillment–the ability to make yourself happy and complete through your own efforts.
So I’m saying this again, YES you can live without a man and be happy, really happy, for as long as you choose, but you cannot truly live without self-fulfillment, single or not.
Okay, so I was in the process of writing Part 2 of the SiNgLeNeSs post– which by the, if you haven’t yet, you could read here: SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS – “SiNgLeNeSs” Pt. 1–when I was distracted by a thought. I’m going to get back to that post don’t worry, but first I wanted to tackle a sensitive subject—or as my girl Wendy Williams would say—a hot topic surrounding a certain type of “socially unacceptable” behavior that men insist a lot of single women exhibit … “thirstiness.” And I’m not talking about feeling a need to drink something, but being too eager to get something (especially play), according to the urban dictionary.
This is a common conversation thread amongst men. Don’t think for a minute that men don’t gossip, because they do. They’re talking about single women aka “thirsty chicks” with each other, behind their backs, at the gym, on the courts, in the clubs, at church, on social networks and blogs … I’ve actually had quite a few disturbing and somewhat heated conversations, on several occasions, with pretty much every one of my male counterparts. It is a common consensus. They are convinced there is a rise of the planet of the “thirsty chicks.”
And, according to men (and some women agree, might I add), thirstiness is a single woman that is so desperate to be in a relationship or married that they’ll do anything, put up with anything, or settle for anyone just to have a man. They feel that thirsty chicks come on too strong and push themselves on men. Granted traditional roles (boy sees girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl for her number) for getting to know someone has changed (now girls see boy, girl likes boy, girl asks boy for his number) and there are men that appreciate a woman who sees what she wants and goes after it, but there are many men who still prefer to pursue rather than be pursued.
They say thirsty chicks are aggressive and impatient–“Why does a woman have to rush everything and control the relationship? If I’m spending all my time with her, doing things for her and showing her how much I care about her, why would she have to have a title or label us? Every woman I’ve been with has tried to rush me into something,” ranted one of my close male friends, “they want you to put a ring on it and you’ve not even been with them that long … just thirsty!”–We debated back and forth about yet another stigma that the single female has to deal with, finally agreeing to disagree…
I can go on about conversations I’ve had, but I’ll let a few excerpts I stumbled upon, sum it up for you. Please note, what you are about to read are not my words, but I felt like the author did a good job of describing signs of a “thirsty chick” from a male’s perspective.
She latches on to a very superficial connection: This is the foundation for the thirst because no mutual interest has been expressed. She knows one or a few things about a man, and all of a sudden she’s friends with him. When she sees him in the street, she acts like they have been homies for years, whilst he cringes behind his forced smile as she approaches. And since he’s the only person on the street, avoidance is not an option. Sucks to be him.
She reaches out too much, too often: Maybe they are FB friends. Maybe she follows him on twitter. Maybe the man, with his nice-guy ways, gave her his phone number. Either way, she can reach out whenever she feels so inclined…which is all the time? Bear in mind, he never calls her. He never IMs her. He rarely hits her with a @reply. But she sees no issue with the one-way initiation of communication. She keeps on keeping on.
She is over the top with just about everything…and she thinks it’s cute: The thirsty woman doesn’t know anything about moderation. She’s overly flirtatious. She’s suggestive when it’s uninvited. She takes the sexy jokes a wee bit too far…and everyone knows it except her. As she giggles thinking she’s being cute, she doesn’t even notice that she’s being giggled at.
I’m going to keep my opinion to myself (for now), because I really want to know what, the readers think. Do you agree? Are some single women “thirsty?” Do you know any “thirsty chicks?” Are there any men reading this blog that agree or disagree?