Hey SmF fam!! I had an eventful weekend with fam & friends that involved some great weather, good food and plenty of laughs! That always helps me be more optimistic about my busy week ahead. But I also can’t wait for Friday to get here. It’s going down this weekend ladies! And of course, I’ll tell you all about it next week.
Well, I wish I could take sole credit for today’s post, but I can’t because I read quite a few articles over the past couple of years that fueled some of my thoughts on the subject.
For starters, I always believed that although we would find ourselves in-and-out of relationships because of dating mishaps (break-ups) and sometimes marital mistakes (divorces), there was always that one special person out there, our “SoUl MaTe,” that we were destined to be with…if we’re ever lucky enough to find him or her.
And like I told you before in “SiNgLeNeSs” Pt. 1, despite my current relationship status, I still believe in love at first sight & happily ever after! But what has ultimately thrown me for a loop and encouraged me all the same, is this right hereà according to recent discoveries and observations we may all very well have more than one “SoUl MaTe” in our lifetime.
Yes you read it correctly! There is a strong chance that we have many, based on the stages of life we enter into. And I believe that because you couldn’t tell me in “SiNgLeNeSs” Pt. 2, that back in elementary school, the first boy of my dreams that I fell madly in love with; crushed on for four whole years, and finally dated for six years (our 7th grade year up until a year after we graduated high school) was not my “SoUl MaTe,” nor my future husband and kids’ father. You just couldn’t.
And you definitely could not have convinced me that the other young man I met in my early twenties who I had so much in common with; knew without a shadow of a doubt that God brought us together; fell madly in love with also; dated for three years; who became my best friend, husband, lover, the father of my child, then enemy, ex-husband, and friend again, all over another six year period, was not my “SoUl MaTe” either. There was no way he wasn’t, regardless if our marriage didn’t last forever.
Honestly, after I met my husband, I figured that my first love in my teen years was maybe just a test run, because we were young and foolish and didn’t know a lot about life and that my marriage, was in fact, the real deal. We were destined to be together forever.
But after it came to an unbelievable end, I seriously thought in my mind that I had used up my entire “SoUl MaTe” balance…so either my ex-husband and I were going to go through this divorce period, and once all the issues between us were worked out, we would come back full circle again and start all over or…it was just over for me and I had my chance.
Although I didn’t know what I know now, as time went on, something within, maybe my heart, refused to believe that just because that relationship ended, I would never find the kind of deep love and attraction and emotional and spiritual connection that I once shared. And according to one of the articles, “soul mates make a dramatic impact on your life, even if sometimes the time you share together is brief.” **thanks God***
And another article indicated that “soul mates are found more frequently after one has been married or deeply committed to another individual. This is because we are no longer trying to impress someone with our over abundance of intelligence or skill. We return to just being “ourselves.” <~I BELIEVE THIS!
So I’m so glad I have another chance at it! Possibly everything that I had gone through—the good and the bad–with the ex-husband were for that time period in my life. I know that it was definitely on purpose.
And I believe now that all of the transition; the changes in my needs both spiritually and emotionally that I’ve identified in my early thirties, and the healing, maturing and growing I’ve done over the last past four years has prepared me arguably for my “SoUl MaTe” number three.
“SoUl MaTe, SoUl MaTe, WhErE ArT ThOu?” I sure hope when you do decide to show up that three’s a charm. And that you aka my future hubby will ultimately be a rest-of-my life partner this time around…someone that I can identify with; have a deep spiritual, emotional and sexual connection with; be attracted to; be friends with; have similar interests and goals in life, and mutual honesty and respect for one another… not a perfect person, but someone absolutely perfect for me! And I know he’s out there.
So ladies, even if you’ve had a few bad break-ups or even a divorce, rest assured that our future looks pretty bright!
Alright, see you all Friday! Until then…