Hey ladies and gentlemen!! If you haven’t already, please check out some of the other SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS posts in your spare time. And just so you know, I’m still trying to figure this blogging thing out, so please excuse the construction (i.e. schedule & post changes). I just need to make sure that I’m able to find a groove and stick with. I appreciate any or all of your support during this time!
In other news, looks like I’m gearing up for a new post entitled “So YoU WaNt To Be A MoMaGeR” real soon! I’m all about the needs of my readers and a lot of mommies and daddies have reached out to me by way of Facebook asking for info and help on how to get their kid started in the entertainment biz.
I want to help each and every one of you, really I do, but unfortunately I can’t call/email/inbox everybody back, so this will be the best way to see if it’s something you’re really interested in. I haven’t decided if I’m going to do a written blog or a vlog post yet, but I’m in the process of gathering the information, so keep an eye out for it.
Well first things first, my thought for today is all about moi! Oh man, I wish I would have learned the importance of taking time out for AND caring for me a loooong time ago. I’m sure some; if not all of you mommies know the significant sacrifices we make for our child(ren). They are always first and foremost in our lives.
And some of you are trying to take care of your man as a wife in your marriage or as a significant other in your relationship. And you have your family members and your job pulling on you as well. And there are way too many of us holding it down all while being a SiNgLe MoMmY which is an entirely different story. You can read all about mine in “FiRsT StEpS.”
At one point I felt like my identity was that of a mother, wife (before the big “D”), bread-winner, cook, maid, personal assistant, accountant, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, friend, therapist, confidant, and unfortunately in the end a friendly, overly-accommodating ex-wife/baby momma and daughter-in-law. And poor lil’ ole’ me, was somewhere in the midst of whoever I had become for everyone, vying for life and attention.
Ladies, I don’t know what it was about 2012, but I had a serious epiphany a few months before the New Year. I had planned to do things, handle situations, people, and relationships entirely different. I also made a few vows, one of which was to start looking out for me, myself, and I. I was starting to feel burned out as a mom and being everything (see identity list above) for everyone else.
I ended things with “WrOnG MiStEr” Pt. 8 for good reason. I also realized that I didn’t have to continue to explain myself and my decisions to people, in fact I refused. “HaTeRs” were no longer allowed to be a part of my life; neither was their drama, so I severed some toxic relationships and became distant in others. And I stopped trying to please family and friends at the expense of my own happiness.
I was sooo done with all of that AND on some new stuff. I knew that it was time that I started DoInG Me, it was long overdue. And I realized that if I didn’t take care of me, I wouldn’t be any good for anyone else, for that matter.
Last year, I decided to take a real international vacation and ended up in the Bahamas for Christmas. It was the most tranquil and rejuvenating vacation I had ever had in comparison to the three week holidays my son and I would spend in Michigan, during the freezing cold winter, stressed and constantly pulled between family and friends who wanted us to spend quality time with them.
I actually made a big deal about my birthday in January—for the first time in like 10 years–and embraced aging gracefully as I celebrated with a few friends and family at an upscale hotel for champagne brunch.
I hadn’t realized how much mental and physical stress regular scheduled mani-pedi’s or monthly massages and facials relieved as I paid people to pamper me. I never knew how much I would appreciate meeting up with my girls for a night out once or twice a month, to laugh and talk about everything or nothing at all; grown-up talk was vital to my mental well-being. And ladies, I can now walk into a store and purchase something or treat myself without feeling guilty about it.
I mean, changing my mentality, putting things and people into perspective, and reorganizing my priorities, has transformed my life for the good. I still have a ton of stuff on my plate, wear multiple hats, and find myself overwhelmed with my daily responsibilities as a mom and all of the extra-curricular activities thrown my way, but I’m handling it all in stride and making sure that I’m DoInG Me and those things that make me happy, by any means necessary.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I need to do this or that or all of it,” than please take my advice! Cut one toxic person out of your life. Stop answering to everyone. Plan a vacay. Go get your hair and/or nails done. Schedule an appointment for a massage and/or facial. Hook up with your girls for an impromptu dinner. Go to the store and avoid the kid’s clothing isles at all costs. Whatever it is, just Do YoU boo, and I guarantee you’ll start feeling much better about this wonderful life we’re living.
Have a great weekend ladies! See you Monday! Until then…