MommyHood: We Do What We Have To

Photo Cred: @terrellransomjr

Hey ladies and gentlemen!!! I hope you’re still enjoying SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS! I appreciate your support whether you’re visiting for the first time or have been supporting since the beginning with “FiRsT StEpS.”

I realized that I had to give myself a quick mental break from all this talk about “LoVe UnCoMpLiCaTeD” and focus on something more significant than my life in all its “SiNgLeNeSs.” At such a vulnerable state (i.e. thee time of the month), it was starting to wear me down hence the post “CaTcH 22.”

What could be more notable than my emotional tug-o-war with my desire to be single….wait no, married…uh…maybe single again? MoMmYhOoD! Yes, I LOVE being TJ’s mom! It’s a responsibility I do not take for granted. And it’s the one hat that I’m honored to wear day in and day out.

But I also have to admit, that it became one of my most challenging roles the day I decided to divorce. Obviously, the dynamics of our family structure changed. My son would no longer grow up in a household with his mom and dad. It was different financially. I was solely responsible for the two of us; the roof over our head, whereas his dad responsibility was to support in whatever capacity he could. I would be there 90% of the time physically and emotionally, and his dad would take up 10% of the slack on his only day off work—no fault of his own.

Now, I said I wasn’t going to focus on my personal dilemma in this post, but let me just say this and I’m done (for today), I’m sure if you’re reading this, you can relate, if not, at least imagine, that raising my son as a single parent–by default–takes the worst toll on me as a woman than the lack of male companionship, the desire to be married and make love does, because I never thought I would be parenting alone…yet here I am.

Anyway, enough of the sadness! *slams the violin* Nonetheless, I am super proud of my baby boy T.J. I never really wanted to take any credit at ALL for the things that he’s accomplished in his precious life thus far—most of which I can’t, because God chose to bless him—but I can take credit for being the kind of mom that prayed for wisdom, realized my child’s potential, recognized his gifts, got a glimpse of his destiny, and made the necessary spiritual, emotional, and financial sacrifices and investments to ensure that he was in the right place and on the right track.

He’s one of the smartest kids I know, and I’m not just saying that because he’s my son. He’s eight years old in the 4th grade. Now, some people may say that’s the case because he’s home schooled, but his above average test scores in Math and Language Arts he’s maintained the last three years would say otherwise. I’m proud of him!

Some of you may know that he’s a little actor–most known for his role as Theo Carver on Days of Our Lives for the past four years. He’s also a singer, dancer, musician, artist…and just about anything else I’ll allow him to do or pay for. He’s crazy creative. I’m amazed at how gifted the kid is myself at times. I know that if I hadn’t chose—because it is a choice—to be the mom I am or make some of the decisions I’ve made, he would not have had the opportunity to pursue the things he has (and LOVES), point, blank, period. So if I deserve any of the credit, I’ll take it for that.

And just so you know, the difference between me and a lot of others in this position and possibly why I’ve survived as long as I have–besides most importantly my prayers, obedience, and God’s guidance–is the fact that I learned from experience (the best teacher ever), not to give anyone—family, friends or acquaintances—any room to disagree with what I knew I was supposed to be doing and I stopped heeding to their negativity, ignorance, concern and complacency. I won’t get into it here, but I explained why it was so important for me to do this in “No HaTeRs AlLoWeD,” you should definitely check that post out.

These past four years have been trying and rewarding all at the same time. I always think if things hadn’t turned out the way they had with my divorce and everything…if I was still in Michigan, happily married, would I have had enough nerve to step out and do the things I have?

I don’t know the answer to that. But I do know that I’ve gone through a lot of ups and downs and lost some things in the interim to be where I am today. And I wouldn’t change any of it, because I know that I’m where I should be. I believe that with every fiber of my being. Not everyone can say that.

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I hope you enjoyed MoMmYhOoD! See you Friday!

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