Could A Love Uncomplicated Be Race Related?


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StockPhoto - Google
StockPhoto – Google

Hey ladies and gentlemen!!! So glad you’re back. I decided to start posting SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS later in the day because most of you weren’t able to read the blog until after you got home from work. This way I won’t have to bug people with multiple FB posts and tweets. I always include links to posts at the end, so please check them out, if you haven’t already.

So anyway, “WrOnG MiStEr” Pt. 8 didn’t quite end the way most people expected it to, not even me. I guess when it was all said and done; the story was a lot sadder on paper than it was in reality. Now don’t get me wrong, I was seriously heart-broken when I noticed that things were starting to change between us.

Really, how could MiStEr with all is glorious qualifications–physically attractiveness (body like a chiseled sculpture), cultural diversity (intriguing foreigner with a sexy accent), spirituality (a must for me), academic advancement (three degrees), financial stability (six figure salary)—who was also very loving, attentive, charming and romantic, start off to be such a gentleMANcarrying me over puddles and everything—end up being such a jerk?!?

I knew one thing for sure, after I tried talking to him about it, I wasn’t going to waste any more of my time trying to figure it out. When I finally decided to WiSh “WrOnG MiStEr” 8 the best and move on, I was certain it was the right thing to do, for me.

I’m sure you may know me a little bit more by now, I would much rather be completely happy alone, than miserable with any man. I’m at a point in my life that I know exactly what I’m not willing to deal with–in any relationship—period. I have the few guys I dated before marriage, my wasband of almost six years, and even “WrOnG MiStEr” 2 to thank for lessons learned.

Before anyone goes there, this is not another Diary of a Mad Black Woman. NO, I am not scorned by my past. It’s the SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS of one chica that has a lot of good things going on in her life and for herself, and refuses to jeopardize her happiness and peace for an extra pair of thighs under her sheets–after marriage that is. So trust me ladies, it’s ALL good!

But I’m telling you, for a woman that still believes she believes in fairytales and happily ever after, what I’ve experienced personally in relationships, witnessed in other peoples’ relationships, and heard from friends and family about their relationships, I’m starting to feel less optimistic about the possibility of such a thing as love uncomplicated.

I’m sure all of you have a number of women that have shared their own stories of drama in the dating game, in their relationships and/or marriages. They are not a lot of promising examples. In fact, those relationships/marriages that we have admired and even desired to mimic, we’ve often found, were extremely fraudulent, or lasted out of pure convenience or for the sake of the kids, or wasn’t as great behind closed doors as it appeared to everyone out in the open. Boy I can attest to the latter. It’s disturbing. Yet, we (as in me too) still desperately seek out true love and hope for the best.

With that being said, can I totally be honest here? Now some of you ladies and men (I’m sure), may feel that I am wrong for jumping to this following conclusion, but I have sort of washed my hands of Black men at this point and have chosen to seek and hope with men of different ethnicities.

Please be advised, I know without a shadow of a doubt, there are some really great Black men–boos, hubbies, AND fathers–out there and I salute you!  However, I am not interested in dating another one to find out, because I have personally been burned time and time again. And anyone that knows me, know that I do not believe in doing the same thing over and over, especially when I keep getting the same results. So it’s much more about the absolute need for me to change things up, do something different, then it is about race…well maybe it 50/50.

Plus, I’m really tired of all the stereotypes that a lot of Black men label Black women with. Allegedly we’re “mad” (hurt women with vengeances and we have diaries to prove it, “gold-diggers” (only after men for their money), “thirsty” (desperate have a man), AND we’re “baggage-handlers” (we are the only ones that carry emotional baggage from our failed relationships into our new and improved relationships). Oh yea, we run our mouths, roll our eyes and our necks, and put our hands on our hips way to much for my Black make counterparts. How do I know? They’ve ALL told me.

To be honest, I’m not sure that I’m ready to date anyone right now. I’m working ridiculous hours around the clock being a SiNgLe MoMmY. Then there’s my little guy’s acting career, on top of all the writing and editing for my book, querying of agents, blogging and social networking–for business purposes *winks*.

Anyway, who knows, in the end, I may discover that men are just men, all the same, regardless of their ethnicity…but obviously I will never know that if I don’t allow myself to date outside my race. Well ladies, I’m so glad you stopped by. I’m looking forward to the feedback and comments.

Ladies let’s keep in touch! Click on the links to FOLLOW me, @snglemommyfiles on twitter and LIKE SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS on Facebook!

Be sure to check back on Friday evening for another post. Until then…

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