No Haters Allowed

I know we say that we’re motivated by our “haters.” My life is a personal testament to all those people (family & friends & enemies, of course) that told me I couldn’t/shouldn’t do something and why they wouldn’t, BUT I did it big anyway!

However, I’m at a point in my life where I realize I can’t pay attention to “hate,” negative criticism,“ or “projected insecurities,” because I don’t care how motivated, focused, or determined a person may be…those things have the ability to distract, discourage and eat away at you if you constantly subject yourself to it. Trust me I know from personal experience.

So, when I say I’m not paying attention, that means I’m not friending you (in life, on Facebook or twitter), I’m not hanging with you (birds of a feather flock together), I’m not answering my phone, text messages or bbm’s. I made a decision before 2012 rolled in, that I was not allowing “haters” any room in my life. They are harmful to my emotional and mental well-being and self-destructive.

TRUTH: The power of life and death lies in our mouths. Certain people have the power to push you forward or hold you back or even detour you, if you allow them. Key word here is “allow.” From now on, “haters” will not get any of my energy or attention. However, they will definitely get my prayers! The people that LOVE, APPRECIATE, SUPPORT, SEE THE GOOD in what I do, and use it to better themselves or others will get the same reciprocated and all of my attention!

I’d much rather be propelled into my promising future through positivity (which will take me so much further and higher) than be driven by negativity, trying to prove something to my “haters;” the people that could care less if I falter or fail. I’m so done with that! ~Katrina B. xoxo


Wrong Mister Part 4: The Meeting


Hey ladies (and gentlemen) and all the SiNgLe MoMmY FiLeS newbies! I didn’t realize I had this much to say in this series, so here we are again. I must admit, my lil’ stories seem to be much more interesting typed out then told. Seriously, when I read this stuff, I’m like who’s this girl?

I’m really through all over again with “WrOnG MiStEr” Pt. 2, he was just disrespectful and I hate that, because he had so much potential. Now, “WrOnG MiStEr” Pt. 3 …well we’ll just see about him won’t we? If you’re in need of the backdrop to the story check out: “WrOnG MiStEr” Pt. 1 first, that will bring you up to speed. The rest of you know what to do.

Where did I leave off? Yea, okay, so by the time we paid our checks and said our goodbyes at the Chinese restaurant, I remember apart of me was extremely optimistic about this guy with the exception of a few qualms. I was taking a big risk with this blind hook-up and possibly not being attracted to him, because I had no idea how he looked. She gave me nothing to work with; no cell phone pics, not even a full name to Google, or a Facebook page to peruse, nothing. All I had was my imagination.

Mind you, my friends all know that I’m not superficial when it comes to a man (although, I’ve not had too bad of a track record in the looks department, in my opinion), I wasn’t expecting him to be an Idris Elba from The Wire, or Laz Alonzo from Jumping the Broom, or even a *Ryan Gosling from Crazy, Stupid, Love (yessss Ryan Gosling, don’t judge me until you see the movie). In fact, I’m more of a brain over brawn model type girl anyway, but dude had to at least be decent enough to look at AND stomach.

Then there was the problem with meeting someone with a different personality or not hitting it off at all. He could bore me half to death or be a total jerk with all of his degrees and accomplishments. And last but not least, there was a slim chance that he wouldn’t be interested in me…okay, so I guess that’s more than a few qualms, and believe me they were definitely starting to fuel my apprehension.

May rolled in and out. June made its way around the corner and July came in with a bang, and I still had nothing … no phone call, email, twitpic … not even a date in the blackberry. I hadn’t heard anything from his spokeswoman either. You don’t meet me for lunch, tell me about a potential that had a lot of the qualifications I was looking for then leave me hanging for months. What was this woman trying to do to me? Tease me? Torture me? Drive me insane? Because, that’s exactly what she was doing.

I was already feeling less than 100% about everything, more like 40-60. 40 being don’t give up, this could be it. 60 being girl, it’s too good to be true, let it go, it’ll never happen. I even remember my gut telling me that this guy wasn’t the one because he lived in another state, probably had no intentions of coming back to California, and I needed to be here.

Oooh and that internal ticking time bomb of mine went, let’s just say, into overdrive. I don’t even know how it could do that. My hormones were seriously imbalanced. My emotions were all over the place, up and down, down and up, they even went left on me sometimes. I cried. I got angry at my ex-husband (I would see red when he came around); because he was the reason I was alone in the first place. I would get myself together, then cry some more. I wanted to be in love again, yet love was for fools.

And remember all that stuff I gave you about self-fulfillment in “SiNgLeNeSs” Pt. 1 and “SiNgLeNeSs” Pt. 2, yea, well, I wasn’t there yet. I was an absolute, total wreck by the time August snuck up on me, which was right around the time I started writing my book, FYI.

But luckily, things did change drastically. A couple weeks in, I had pretty much given up on MiStEr. I was so engrossed in getting my story out of me–a purging, therapeutic, healing process–and ultimately in the hands of readers, that I stopped focusing on him. And just so you know ladies, I was self-fulfilling up by then too. I figured that love, and whoever had it to offer, would come for me sooner or later. I was praying for sooner or maybe real soon, one of the two, it definitely wasn’t later.

So tell me why mister himself popped up in LA, the third week in August for a surprise visit…a surprise visit! Crazy right?! The timing of it all…no one knew he was coming, not even spokeswoman. He flew in on a Sunday and just as she had promised, she arranged for us to meet by that Wednesday.

Now, a whole four months had gone by, he and I hadn’t talked prior to, I hadn’t seen pictures of him, those qualms hadn’t gone anywhere, and frankly I didn’t think he was the one, yet, I was super excited to meet him. Spokeswoman had planned for us to come by her house. He would be there of course along with her and her kids. I was bringing TJ. My bestie and her son would come, and we would all just hang out on neutral ground. Whew! I was totally comfortable with that arrangement vs. that straight up blind date thing that was sure to fail in my mind.

Let me tell you, I was totally cute. My hair, make-up, nails, and toes were on point. I was the epitome of class as always (my flowing tangerine summer dress swept the floor) with a hint of sexy (I knew that dress in particular would reveal my shapely figure from time to time, depending on how the wind blew *winks*). I have to be absolutely honest here ladies, I was really feeling myself that day. Yes! When I walked through the door I imaged that a light from heaven beamed down on me and that melodic ahhhhhh music played when he laid eyes on this…so that last qualm I had, had gone out the door.

We all hugged and greeted one another. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised with him. He was charming and polite; had a great smile; was just the right height. She definitely didn’t lie about the athletic muscular body. He wasn’t body-builder muscular, but you could tell he worked out. And Lawd, his chest bulged through his shirt and his biceps and triceps and calves were all rock solid. But I played it cool.

We ate and talked and decided that we would head down to the pool, so the kids could swim. The sun was high in the sky. He and I sat with our legs in the jacuzzi overlooking the Pacific Ocean. We talked and laughed and laughed and talked, just the two of us. He was super smart, never condescending, and had a lot of common sense. I listened intently to intriguing stories he would tell me about growing up in another country. He spoke English very well in addition to five of his country’s native languages. And why oh why did he have an accent?! That in and of itself, was super sexy to me…so you already know.

That night, we all decided to go get something to eat. He and I sat across from one another. It was cute. We were really hitting it off, and by the end of dinner, I bagged up all those qualms and threw them out the window. We walked to the parking structure, hugged and said goodnight. I told him it was nice to meet him. He said the same and valet pulled up with our cars.

“Giiiirl you two really hit it off, I’m so happy for you,” said my bestie. She and I giggled and squealed like two high school girls as we headed northbound on the 405, when it dawned on me, we hadn’t exchanged information. My heart sank a little. “Wait a minute girl,” I said, “if we really hit it off, why didn’t he ask for my number?” “I don’t know, but I’m sure he will. Don’t worry, I could tell he liked you,” she said. Yea, I thought.  “Wait I just got a text, giiiirl he said he didn’t want to put you on the spot in front of everyone at the restaurant, so he’s asking for your number now to call you. Can I give it to him?” I breathed a sigh of relief, and made her wait a few minutes for my “yes, girl, give it to him.”

Ladies, something interesting happened next, but it’s late and it would probably take another three pages to tell you what. So we’re going to pick up where we left off on Monday! I know, I know another cliff hanger…but this story is far from over. So please come back. Same time, same place. Until then…

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